How can I kindly refuse a job from a very close family member in need?

A very close cousin of mine has started what is expected to be a multi-million dollar company, and he has asked me to be the technical writer for the company. HOWEVER, my cousin has a LONG history of bieng a "big talker" and not coming through. He's gone bankrupt before and he always so sparatic. My sister worked as a receptionist for him and things were always scattered. Paycheques late, working crazy hours, finding out important things at midnight, and so forth. Additionally, I am only a junior but the job would require an intermidiate to senior writer because of the complexity. My cousin says "I'm not bieng confident and I can do it" but I am confident; I simply know that I have not gathered *enough* experience in my 1 year of working to be able to do a good job. I would need help. He says he plans to take me to China and so forth for documenting, but I simply don't want to get involved in this. I am so close to him and don't want to ruin our relationship by working for him.

It's important to note my cousin is not one he takes "no." He constantly asks "why not?" "don't you want to get paid a lot?" "I really need your help," and keeps persisting and persisting and filling your head with all these great dreams that usually never happen that way. He's not easy to get off your back.

If you don't want the job, just make your demands too high, or ask for a contract because of the instability potential, or something to that effect.

Just say that you have a very solid position right now, and to leave it for extra risk, you will have to must have a contract and an income guarantee, plus of course the same benefits (or better) than you have now. Benefits are a big one--if you want to stay out of a company, just make sure it is clear that the benefits you have now, are far better.

Make him put his money where his mouth is. Most people just starting a business can not afford to do that--that's why they talk up the business, to get people who want to get in on the ground floor and work up the ranks in a hurry. This is a great strategy, but a very risky gamble. Just make yourself unattainable and don't back down or succumb to fancy recruiting pitches.

Also, people who don't take "no" for an answer, are simply more determined than the people that are saying "no". What I'm trying to say is, saying "no" and meaning "no, can be two completely different things. If none of the above work, you must explain that no is no, thanks, but no thanks, end of story.

Say "I am not at all interested in working with family." if he asks any questions repeat the same sentence over and over again.

No thank you should suffice.

As a retired technical writer myself, I would explain to him that you KNOW the job requires greater expertise than you have at the moment, that he needs to hire someone more qualified, and that you might consider joining him down the line if he needs to expand in the future.

We must have the same Uncle. *smile*

Tell him "No thank you." And find a story and stick to it. Repeat it as often as necessary. You could say "I like my current job" or "My talents are really not what you need" If he keeps pestering you, look him in the eye and say "I said, no thank you. Please do not ask me again. You are pestering me and you are at risk of damaging our relationship if you continue."

If for some reason he won't quit at that point, you feel more for him than he does for you, so make yourself scarce.

Good luck!

You must want to ruin your life then. ?After you have told him firmly No Thank You 20 times with the very same tone, I guarantee you he will stop asking. Do NOT answer any of his questions like ' Why not? or he will suck you in. Do not talk about it other to say NO THANK YOU. Then smile.

I am not condoning lying, but for the sake of your relationship maybe you could say something to the effect of I received another contract with another company and "unfortunately" I will not be able to manage. This is so tricky but I hope it turns out well for you. Good luck!!

I agree completely with Michael B's answer. If you say, in all honesty, you are not yet qualified for the position and he would be better off starting off with someone who is more qualified that should get him off your back. It should prove to him you are keeping his best interests in mind (even if you really arn't) and if by some chance this business does succeed and he approaches you again in the future if you want to work with him then do it, otherwise just tell him you are very happy working where you are.

Tell him no thanks and stick to it. If your family questions you about it, tell them the truth - his past record does not make you feel that he would be a trustworthy or consistent employer and his risk taking is not acceptable to you. Also, it's seldom a good idea to mix family and business. Obviously, HIS siblings aren't helping HIM out by working with/for him.

here is what i would say!

Thanks for this offer but that doesn't go with my career! I don't mind helping you out on a few side jobs for extra cash but that will be done on MY terms not yours! it would be in your best interest to find someone else. No ammount of money will make me change my mind this is the last i want to talk about this if you bring it up again your going to tick me off! understand I'm trying to help but the more you harp on it the more i won't even want to do that!
now so i know we are on the same page what did i say or were you to busy compiling your response prior while i was talking unacceptable!
plus Wait i am not done talking!
your my friend my family and i don't mix pleasure with work i know you will say nothing will come between us but i can't say the same! Period!
so to save heart ache my head i'll just work away from you!
but i do feel honored you bugging me this much about it!
but this is more of your passion not mine!
good luck!

the only reason he won't accept your no under my guess is your not being forcefull enought or really showing that mean it!