|
|
| *Resource of HR>>>jobs abroad |
Should I pay CSA-my wife will not let children see me. I love my kids. Do I have to pay if I work abroad? |
My wife left me 7 months ago as I was not spending enough time at home with my family due to long hours with my job. I provided a good income and everything my family wanted - apart from time which I now deeply regret. She is divorcing me and seems only bothered about money and keeping the children from me. I have not seen my children since 2 August 2006 although I have written, texted and sent presents and cards etc. It is cutting me up not having any contact at all and I am considering emigrating. She had a good job before the children and could work if she wanted but doesn't want to. Do need to keep paying CSA if I work abroad? I realise I can go to court for access but have heard that some of these agreements are not adhered to by the mother and are a waste of time and money. It all seems weighted in favour of the mother. Any other suggestions? many thanks - from a devastated father and husband. Well,Im going through this right now.My wife just left and took the kids.She assumed that she could,and told me I could see them every other weekend. I had no idea what the actual law was at that time,but I said that perhaps we should ask the kids themselves what they wanted. We did this and now they live with me,and she sees them every other weekend.We are all happier,except her. There is a law of 7ths.This is what determines your payments.Basically,if she has them full time,you pay full whack at 7/7th of your disposable income,after tax,NI,mortgage etc. If you manage to get an agreement to have them for any period of time,you do not pay as much according to when you support them directly whilst they are with you. The law no longer assumes that it is the mothers right to keep the children,unless it is feared they are in danger otherwise.You both have equal rights according to how the kids feel.Thats the key issue,and any legal rep should confirm that for you.Get the best you can,for when the final divvy up comes,thats when you lose out in financial terms,and the solicitor may as well have it rather than the woman you are telling us about. You have my sympathy,but do not despair,your kids,unless you are not at all nice,will want to see you.(and Im sure you are a nice guy) You might feel that she has won people over,and I'm willing to bet she has uttered the magic phrase "domestic violence"-in which case you are immediately assumed guilty by everyone,whether or not its true. Somehow,you need to get a chance to see and speak to the kids by themselves,but dont push your views,they will make up their own minds,given the opportunity.(My son voted with his feet and escaped twice from her new house,to get back to me) Try not to gloat either when this happens,as I feel sure it will,given time.Decide whats best for the kids,then you,and stick with it.Dont try to bribe them,just be the Dad that they already know and love. If you manage to arrange more time with you than her,then she becomes liable for payments to you,believe it or not,providing she has means.Your only obligation with regards to payments,is to house your kids one way or another(which you would want to do anyway)and to feed and clothe them.You do not have to keep this woman in any way,other than she will be entitled to between 30 and 50% of your disposable income and assets. Please dont run away.You wont like yourself for that,and imagine how bad that could be in some other land. Looking at it phlegmatically,while you were married,you were paying that woman to take care of the kids in your own home anyway.The bonus now is that you don't have to see her anymore,and listen to her gripes etc. Your kids will be thinking about you,don't worry-time will tell. If you love something,let it go.If it loves you,it will come right back. The very best of luck. You should always pay support regardless, they are your kids. Get yourself a good lawyer so you can see them and to settle on the amount you should be paying. Good luck and I hope you'll see them soon! Tori im with Tori there good luck x my situation is not as bad as urs, as i get to see my son (not nearly as much as i'd like)... my heart really goes out to u. i haven't got an answer but my heart would be torn between the fact that i would want to provide for my kids and the fact that ur paying money to some cow that is clearly thinking more about herself and punishing u than the well being of her children... we dads end up as nothing after a split... best of luck, ill be watching answers with interest. as long as you pay child support, you have right to see your kids, file a motion in local court and they will take care of it, instead of paying to attorney I am sorry she is that kind of ex for you-not letting you see your children. Yes, until the children are each 18 yrs. old, child suppport is required, regardless of where you live. (out of country please check w/attorney first). For your children's sake, regardless, please keep paying that child support. Your relationship with them is what matters. You could go to court, if there is already a parenting plan in place, allowing you visitation with your children. If so, and your ex is Not allowing them to see you, you could have your attorney , or yourself pro bono, take your ex to court for contempt of court. Take care. When my wife stopped me from seeing my kids I left the country, no way was I going to give her the satisfaction of my money without access to the children. I was away for eight years. Its a long and sad story, it ruined our relationship as father and child, now its all but over between me and them. The choice is yours, be strong and make it wisely. Women win all the time in these battles, they are bloody monsters and not worthy of keeping the kids in the first place. You will never win against her, better to lose gracefully and dissappear somewhere and start again. Not until they change the silly law will it be an equal battle, sorry but its true. |
| Tags |
| jobs abroad jobs Africa jobs Asia jobs EU jobs Middle East jobs Australia |
Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster For personal non-commercial use only. |