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Boyfriend's Decision!? |
My partner has agreed to take a job abroad for the next six months. I have commitments like university so I cannot go with him. I don't feel comfortable with his decision and we have spoken and argued about it on many occassions for a long time now but he is still going tomorrow. His job isn't career related (he doesn't need qualifications) and which can easily be found in london, he won't be earning anymore than he is now mayb even less! Its a job presented to him by a friend. He doesn't really have a good reason for going, like this is a great career opportunity. We have been together for 7 years now and he does speak of a future with me regularly but I really don't see how 'we' could benefit from his decision. Surely after being in a relationship for such along time wouldn't someone in his shoes need really strong reasoning to make a decision like that.? Its discouraging in a way and I get an impression that he really isn't as genuine as he makes out. Am I over reacting???? Not sure about this one. If you had only been going out for a few months then yes, you could be over reacting and needy. But the fact that you have been together seven years??!! The seven year itch comes to mind but to be honest, if my other half said that to me, I would be uncomfortable too, as it is not a career boost. Is he going with this friend because it has been glamorised as a very long lads holiday? You must have some trust after this time but c'mon, does he really expect you to be waiting when he gets back? There is no explanation, I can understand you being wary. Maybe you should give him an ultimatum, you or the job. If he chooses the job after being with you for that long, I am afraid to say you have wasted your time. no....your not over reacting!!! I would be doing the same thing!!! Maybe it's just something that he wants to do. It's not like he is going away forever, it's only 6 months. You said that you have been together for 7 years. Do you have any reason not to trust him or to trust his decision. Maybe he just wants to explore another culture, and what better way to do it then by getting paid. Good Luck! I would feel the same way. Tell him if he goes than you will not wait for him. If he goes then you know it's not meant to be. I don't think you're over-reacting. 7 years should be enough time for him to make a commitment, I think the fact that he's going away for so long is his way of telling you something. I'd go with the flow, pretend to accept his decision and then let him be the one to contact you etc.. It'll be hard after so long but if he wants to move on, then make a point of doing the same. It could just be that he wants to expand his horizons, see the world some before settling down with you. I know it seems weird and I can completely understand why you would be angry, but perhaps this is just something he wants to do. If you really want it to work out with him then I think you need to let it go before he leaves with you both hurt and upset which means you won't survive the distance. Tell him you love him, tell him you want whatever is going to make him happy and tell him you'll be waiting in six months time to hear all about his adventure. Well it would be nice to work abroad but if my boyf was leaving me for 6 months I wouldnt be happy either - he needs to think how he'd feel if you just upped and left!!! Stand your ground hun and good luck xx |
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