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I left my job to come live w my swiss bf in switzerland. after 5 months he tells me he is not sure what he wan |
i left my job to come to switzerland live w my swiss by for a year. after 5 months he says he is not sure what he feels anymore. i taking a course that ends in 5 months. i dont know if i should finish the course or go back home to brasil. my heart is broken. we were in a long distance relationship for 3 years before i came. he has been in therapy for 4 months, trying to figure out things from his past, old ghosts. i feel alienated, very sad. he says he doesnt have all the warmth and caring i need to receive. what should i do? Stand by him, you have been (mentally if not physically) together for 3 years and I am guessing by the way you speak of him that you do love him. He has his demons and hopefully he is not just playing you. I would offer to go to therapy with him, say you want to support him, if he refuses then I guess it is the end for you. Hopefully he will accept your help and your love and be a better person for it. No-matter what, finish the course, it is only 5 months and in them 5 months he may realise what the problem is and fix it, even if he doesn't then you have a qualification under your belt for your future. Try to get a little social out there, the Swiss are nice people as a rule and they accept people for who they are. Join a few social clubs, make friends and enjoy your adventure. Well hopefully you are making your own money. I would finish the course but perhaps get a job and find your own place to live. Then at the end of the course move back home. But before leaving see if he has found what he wants. get your own place and finnish the course.....give the swiss space to sort his pathetic self....good luck Finish up your course then leave. Tell him this is your plan and he's off the hook. Just having the pressure off might make him feel better and you can at least be good friends. You're sad now but you'll get over it. Have you spoken to his therapist to see what encouraging role you can part-take? Perhaps he's just going thru so much that he can't deal with two souls right now (his and yours). Finish your course and give him time and space. When he's done going thru his emotional troubles, he may be ready to live a life with you....or not. But the best thing you can do right now is not make him feel bad for how you feel. Just be there for him when he needs you but don't be around him until he calls for you. oh,...I'm so sorry.......but anyway, i think that you should finish your course. just because you bf was a total jerk doesn't mean you can't still do things(such as finish your courses) give him time. if you respect and love him then understand that he needs some space to figure things out. i think it could still work out for you both. he will respect you more for respecting him. and don't get in another long-distance relationship...you should be more familiar with the person and not waste so much time over nothing...... |
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