He wants nothing to do with our daughter?

I have been maried for 4.5 years its been a rather rocky marriage and we have a 4 yr old daughter together.While we were dating we were the perfect couple never fought or anything but when we got married that all changed.My original reason for dating my hubby was to please my parents by bringing home their ideal guy for me.After not even a year of dating i got pregnant and we got married right out of college.We both discovered after the wedding that we were polar opposites.Nasty cycles of fights started and we seperated after 3 yrs because i strongly suspected he had a fling with his ex.gf.I took a job abroad for 6 months(Ireland)with my daughter and while there i saw someone else briefly
.My hubby called me to reconcile right before i came home and after thinking on it alot i agreed for my daughters sake.We went into therapy but when i found out i was pregnant it was too far along to be his and i informed him of the situation ...He wants a divorce and no contact with our daughter?

He has since become destructive toward the house.He claims that looking at our daughter makes him sick because see's the huge mistake we made together that ruined his life and made it hell.Can he legally give up his rights or not see her ever again?I dont want my daughter to suffer?

let him have no contact then..... he'll relazie soon anough or he'll reget it later

Well I think a divorce would make you both happier...as for the no contact with his daughter that would be something you should work on...but dont make it a whole fight....

you made a HUGE mistake in ireland and im sorry but its your fault for the divorce.


however, he SHOULD NOT take it out on your daughter and avoid her.

shes his kid too.

good luck

I agree with camille, he doesn't sound like the kind of person i'd want around my kids

well im a teen and when i was a kid my parints split it was hard but i got over it

good luck

love Wolfmaster

what's you question?

It sounds like you're probably better off out of this marriage. But you need to tell your hubby that he shouldn't take out his anger on his daughter. That's not fair to her.

well if he dose not want to vist ur daughter let him it is his loss.

Once a bum always a bum. Should have ditched him before got married. Sorry for your loss, but there is someone else out there for you and your daughter. Leave to God to help in his own time.

this guy sounds like a piece of work..what person does not want to see his children..wow,if he wants no contact..let him go,you and your daughter will be better off..

Dump him!! You can't make him be a father as much as you would like for him to be. It's going to be his loss and something you're going to have to help your daughter through. Have good role models for her such as uncles, grandparents, or good family friends. Move on and take your daughter with you. It would be harder for your daughter to live in a house with a father who doesn't want her than to live in a house full of your love and support!!

LET HIM GO SWEETHEART HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU OR HIS DAUGHTER ANY PARENT WHO TREATS THERE CHILDREN LIKE THAT WANT LOCKING UP AND HAVING THERE BUMPS READ

im sorry to say this but maybe you sahould let him go.
your daughter will be suffering more having him around like that.
He could really hurt her.
Just tell him once you go you cant come back. She deserves more then a flip flop dad!

goodluck :o)
hope you and your new baby and daughter are all well!

**** that guy.
be mrs independent show that you dont need a man to be happy you can do it on your own prove men wrong but if you want to you can start dating when ever it is convinent for you and try to get a father figure for your little bundle of joy.

Your daughter is young enough that she can still bounce back. A father can be any man in her life who loves her and wants to be there for her. Even if you divorce and he wants nothing to do with her, someday you will find someone who loves you and your daughter unconditionally, and that man can stand in as her father and be a good male influence in her life.

Since she is used to being away from 'daddy' for extended periods of time it shouldn't be too hard on her. Good luck to you, and I hope you, your daughter, and the new baby find someone who will love you all the proper way.

Tell him that he is sick! His daughter should be the most important thing, and if he disagrees, his a lousy father. A four year old needs both of her parents, if he can't see that, his not a true father!

oooh, i feel bad. He's is acting like a jerk. He'll regret it. I think he can and you find a responsible legal guardian. I wish you the best.

hes wrong for wanting to lose contact with your daughter. just give him time and he will not want to lose his daughter. but you both gotta be honest about if he had an affair and what made you have one.

I'm sorry for u and ur daughter, butI'm not that sure what the question is, but if u cant get him to c that ur daughter needs a father in her life, just cut him off, he sounds kinda like a jerk. Maybe along the way, he'll have an epiphany and want to see his daughter. (however that might cause some conflict) Later ur gonna hafta tell ur daughter that her father wasnt ready, couldnt, wasnt mature enough 2 care for her or be in her life.

What a mess your lives have become. Divorce sounds like your only option = be sure you get as much child support as you can.
Your daughter is worth it!

Your first mistake was bringing home someone for your parents...your second mistake was agreeing to reconcile for your daughter's sake.

While it's easier said than done, your divorce should be between you and him and not your daughter, who is innocent. When she gets older, she'll wonder about him and may even try to contact him, which is natural/normal.

Don't speak negatively about him in front of her, even if he does opt not to have contact with her. Make sure child support rulings are in place, and get on with your life....and your daughter's.

You'll be just fine, and so will she!

:)

It sounds like he does not trust you. But it is he not you that messed around from your story. Try a DNA test if you are not sure who the father is..Good luck. been there done that.

Hell, uh (lol.) I don't know of any man who doesn't really want to be involved with his kids. That is more of a female thing in my book.

All of this sounds a little weird to me, but if he doesn't want to be involved it would be better for her if he isn't.

Pete ("What the hell?")

I understand & empathise with your situation. I see that you want your daughter to have her father in her life and that you don't want her to suffer. But the way he is at the moment, he could be have a negative impact on her if he voices that she is a 'mistake' and has ruined her life. None of this is her fault and I am sure that you will not ever allow her to think this way. The other side of this situation, is that he is hurting & is lashing out. It is possible he may change his mind and want to play a full & active role in your daughter's life. I know you realise this, but your daughter must come first.

I can understand his wanting a divorce, and perhaps it's best for both of you. But to not take your 4 year old daughter into consideration is completely wrong (on his part). I hope he did not say that he wanted nothing to do with her, since he IS her biological father. Maybe he wants nothing to do with you, but to punish her is wrong. He needs to grow up and accept some responsibility and accountability. Just paying child support is not acceptable either. Unless this guy is a real loser, she needs him to be part of her life. He will regret not having that contact, because the emotional scars just don't heal.

If he wants to go let him GOO!!!!!!!!!
Do Not look for him!!! Do Not Taunt him!!! Leave THAT man alone......He has given you a window into his true self!! He thinks that your child is/was a mistake....he hates the sight of her......roll the hell out!!!! Crazy (not happy)Men hurt there own children all the time and he could hurt you as well.. Just Let Him Go!

Get Divorced. It is the Best for you, your Daughter, the coming child, AND for him. I stayed in a Marriage for 17 years of fighting and arguing and was Miserable ( and so was she) FOR the sake of " The Kids" . They were miserable too!!!! They were SOOOOOOOOOOOO Happy when we Finally Got Divorced! Today, I can talk to her Without wanting to Scream at her and she the same with me. Amazing!! The no contact with the Daughter thing will work out. My EX-WIFE wanted Nothing to do with OUR Children. It is NOW 13 years Later and my Daughters are at their Mom's house and I am getting ready to leave to take them some Homemade Chili so they can have " Frito Pie". Everyone is Happy, no Screaming, no fighting..........Get the Picture!!!! Have Faith-Trust Your God--- Everything will be alright.

let him have no contact. he'll soon realise he is missing out on a lot. he'll regret in later on down the track if he doesnt contact his daughter. im thinking a divorce is the best for all of u. u dont need someone like that, no-one does. i believe ur marriage was over b4 in even started. u shouldve left him b4 u married him. in my opinion, u shouldnt date someone just to please ur parents. u have to make yourself happy b4 anyone else. if the parents dont like it, stuff 'em. were u separated when u went to ireland? to me, if ur separated then u are not together and are free. i think a separation is a trial divorce. how do u know he didnt get involved in another woman in that 6 months?

ITS HIS LOST NOT YOUR DAUGHTERS LOST SHE BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING HIM JUST NOW .. ASK HIM TO SEE HIS DOCTOR QUICK .TO.. GOOD LUCK. ...

Yes he can legally give up all parental rights. Some states will still hold him liable for her fiancial support though so you might want to look into that.

he is probably hurt and don't mean what he is saying just give a Chance and give him some space hopefully he will come to his sent-es but if not their is nothing you can do
I know I would be hurt and if the shoe was on the other foot it would you to I don't know how i would act and I know it not the kids and they don't understand and I am SORRY
i wish you luck