I have a boy friend who was into drugs few years ago.?

it had been some time since my boyfren had quited drugs . he promised me he is never going to do it again. i trusted him and he made me believe him but later he had started doing drugs again. he knew he was wrong so he told his mom about it and asked for help and then stopped it again. he than got a good job and was doing fine. but he strted doing it again and also got fired form his job he had nicely convenced me that he was not into drugs but he had lied . this was the fourth time he got back like that. i was not aware of anything untill he called me and told me that he was sorry and he would not do it again. i got mad and told him that i would never trust him . he said that he needed my support and if he gets it he will quit it for ever. i stay away from him. he lives some where in asia and i am in usa. i have the visa to get him here but i am confused if i want to spend my life with him what if he doesnt quit it again. help me....

When a drug user quits and then starts using again, it is called a relapse. This is very common in addicts. If you want to be with this man, you need to know how to deal with his addiction. There is a support group called Alanon, that deals exclusively with families and spouses of addicts and alcoholics, that would offer you a ton of advice on how to deal with the person you love and a substance abuse problem. Remember that addiction is a disease. You wouldn't leave him if he had cancer, would you? Good luck.

just move on, he is not gonna change

I'm sorry, but it sounds like it will be a never ending battle. You can't make him quit. Don't let him manipulate you into staying with him. Guilt will not turn into love later on down the line. I say get out of this relationship. He has to stop doing drug for himself, not for you or it won't last.

You would constantly have to worry about his keeping a job, stealing to get money for drugs if he lost his job. it's not worth the headaches you would have. Stop communtication with him, and allow some time before you talk to him again. He has to want to get help on his own. don't be a crutch for him by giving him a place to live in the states. keep your distance.

I'm sorry to hear but they don't change they promise the world to let you down again and again.You need to get your life it to short to try and try again.Listen to your heart and know one else it can only be done be you. GOOD LUCK

You're addicted for life. Only a matter of using or not.

Are you addicted to him?

He does need your support, but also keep in mind that drugs and drug addicts are very cunning. If you think you are strong enough to bring him to the USA, maybe it could be a new start for him...Then again maybe not, there are alot of drugs here. Just keep in mind, if he is ready to quit, he needs ppl around him that love him, but don't let him take advantage of your love.

This is such a hard and very serious question .. and i might be able to help because i was once on drugs myself..
What happened was when i promised myself and prayed for help i also had a man in mind that i loved dearly that i asked for help , he decided to take the chance and help me and take me in .. i had noone at that time .all of my family were finished with me . He lived far away from the people that i associated with drugs and i was able to clean up because i was away from it all.
Well i am proud to say that i have been clean for over 5 yrs and i married him and had two beautiful healthy baby girls with him since then . If not for him coming into my life and giving me the benifit of the doubt , i dont know if i would even be alive today.
i have no plans on ever going back to that type of life again .

its not worth it honney move on. SERIOUSLY.

I have a brother like that and my life is much better that we don't speek or see eachother any more.

You can only for give some one so many times.

If you love him then it's time for tough love! Once they realize that the behavior with not be tolerated you need to be prepared to walk away. If he stays true - and it will take awhile for the trust to come back - then go for it. If he keeps falling off then it's time for the boot! It seems that if he keeps telling you that he screwed up instead of you catching him in a lie then maybe he actually wants help but is too scared of failure!

My boyfriend (husband now) had a drinking problem and I had finally had enough. I told him that it was the last time and I didn't care anymore. I was going to walk away and that was it - and I followed through. He called me one day wanting a ride - he was walking somewhere and I told him "no"! It killed me - I just wanted him to be safe, ya know? After a couple time of that he realized that I would not be there for him if he continued to drink.

Well, he quit after that and we've been married for 3 years without incident.

If I were you I'd drop him like a hot potato. If he's into drugs, then that means he doesn't have time or emotion to invest in you. He's got some major issues if drugs are such a great thing for him to ruin his life. Suggest to him that he get rehab or something. My best friend whom I did not know was on drugs, shot himself in the head because he could not handle trying to get off crack. Tell him you don't want that kind of ending for him, and leave friendship open if you really care about him. Support is neccasary.

It really depends on the drug... if he smoking pot that one thing but herion, coke and crack- he needs proffesional help. You just can't quit!

wake up..he is a drug addict...move on with your life and don't screw your life up

Do yourself and the rest of us all a favor and don't import another drug user. If he has backslipped that many times he just isn't serious about giving up the drugs. It's easy for him to say "just forgive me one more time" but how many One More's are you going to give him. I say twice is more than enough and he's doubled that. Find a new guy here in the usa. Good luck and God Bless.

Hello!!! How many times do you want him to lie to you and use you before you stop letting him take advantage of you? You don't even know where he lives ("some where in asia"), can't keep a job, AND he's a drug addict? Come on, girl! Wake up!!

Do not let him use that visa! Do not bring him to the U.S.! Stop talking with him and move on. You'll be much better off!