Should a single mother move to another state alone w/ 4yr old?

My daughter is 4 and I live in MI. I was offered a federal job in DC making 20% more with great benefits and room for advancement but my daughter is really close to my parents. Should I go? Is this a good age? Can I make it without any family or friends there?

Her father lives in another state and talks to her by phone but has only visited once in the past year. My parents have offered to keep her until I get situated and the economy in MI is so horrible I don't think I would ever get an opportunity like it here.

I say keep looking for a better job in MI.
There are lots of jobs, but only 2 grandparents.

I wouldn't move. Family is more important than money to me.

I think you should. do you want to spend your life doing what every one else wants you to do? I moved to Oregon completely alone with no job with a 2 year old it was great.(i had money saved and an apartment until i got a job) You can always have family visit or visit them.

Can you make it? Yes Will it be hard? Very much so. You will not have no support line at all. If this is something you really want to do then go for it your daughter will be fine, but how much do you depend on help from your family (even if its just a babysitter when you run to the store). Think of all these things when making a decision like this.

Another thing you will need to find someone to watch your daughter while you work and being new in city is going to make it hard to . Just take some time weigh the pros and cons and think it out really hard.

Do you think your daughter could stay with your parents for a while until you get settled in DC? Like learning the area, different daycare/schools. Would an older family member be willing to stay with you for a while? I say go for it and don't limit yourself. Children that age tend to adapt very well and quickly at that to new environments esp if she is friendly. Ultimately it's how you can best provide for your daughter and a job with BENEFITS and room for growth is the best way to achieve that. Good luck!

if her father is not in her life then i would say go if it would better your life. I would make the move before she goes to school. I think that you will be fine without any family or friends because you will meet new friends. It will be tough at first but you will get through it. good luck

You should do it. If it means more money, better benefits and a new start in life, then you have alot to look forward to.

hmmm i would say go for it! i think u should take that offer! dont worry, jus spend lots of time on ur daughter and care for her as u normally do, and she will get used to it, jus tell her that she will go see her parents later and that you are taking her to "play" in DC, lol, that might cheer her up a little, and u can always go back to MI to visit once in a while, i think u can do it!

I say go for it girl, you will be able to keep intouch with your parents, lots of ways, jobs like this don't grow on trees. you will make friends. and your family will only be as far away as your phone or computer.

there was a time when people moved away from all family and friends and had no way of getting in touch except bjy snail mail whch could take up to six months. they managed and you will to

DC is expensive - you may find your 20% is quickly eaten up in cost of living differences - it really depends on the part of Michigan you are in now. Do you parents help with any child care? If so, you need to factor in a major increase in child care costs by moving away.

If I were you, I'd chose family over a job making 20% more. Maybe you could consider moving to a part of Michigan where you can make more, have career advancement and be close enough to maintain the relationship between your child and your parents.

First, figure out what the cost of living would be in DC. How much is daycare? Rent? Utilities? If it ends up being worth it financially, I say go for it. It will be hard for all of you, but if it can give you and your daughter a better life, you should do it. If possible, find time twice a year to visit your parents, even if it's only for a weekend. Then, see if they can come and visit at least twice a year. That way, you and your daughter can still see your parents often. Good luck and congratulations on the job offer!

Will the 4 year old understand the difference of mommy making more money? Will she really appreciate the bigger house, better clothes, more toys, etc.? Or will she benefit more from being around her loving family that can offer her stability, security, safety, and much more? It really depends on your situation and your priorities. Your daughter will always learn to accept any changes you (or life) make but really think about how valuable her time is with her grandparents. If you must relocate, make sure the grandparents are able to visit as often as they can and that your job isn't too demanding where you'll end up placing your daughter with childcare for too long in a day.

You may be making 20% more, but what is the cost of living compared to where you are? I don't think that 20% will get you the same housing that you have in MI. However, the connections you make will be priceless. You'll make connections that you won't be able to make in MI. You could stay there a few years, then move back and probably be more marketable. The benefits alone are priceless in this day and age.

As a single mom, I found that no matter where I went, I always had a support system. Single moms tend to seek each other out. My daughter and I had more friends and connections when I was single, than after I got married. Yes, you can do anything you want to do. If you don't like it, you can always go back. There are no guarantees in life. Your parents could drop dead tomorrow. Then would you go? Your daughter will adjust. Read books on how to handle moves for young children. I did it, no regrets. This day and age, keeping in touch with the grandparents is a phone call away, or get a camera for your computor.

It'll be ok. Lived and worked in that area and LOVED it. Housing has gone WAAAAAAY up since I moved, from what I've been told. Do some research.

Best wishes.

It's really hard to maintain the chance about job and your family.

I think you should move, if the pros outweigh the cons. I know it will be a big adjustment for your daughter, but she will learn to adapt. You can email, chat and talk on the phone with friends and family. You really need to consider whether you will lose more financially to stay in MI--are you at a dead in at your current job? If so, what is your back up plan, if you decide to change jobs and stay in MI? If you own a home, will you be able to sell it? Have you taken a realistic view of the move--i.e., how many people in that position you have been offered actually advanced, and how long did it take? Will the cost of living be higher? If it is, that 20 % increase will be a wash. What is your daycare situation like now? You will have to weigh that as well.

I realize that you have an emotional attachment in Michigan. I live in the state, too (in Oakland County), and the economy is bad. Having said that, what does that have to do with you, IF you have some job stability (relatively speaking) and if you are financially keeping your head above water? I myself considered moving out of state, but it would mean selling my house (I don't know if you have one, but if you do, you won't sell it fast enough), finding a place that will take my dog (can't leave without him), the cost to move, the cost of living, etc. I decided to stay here unless something superfantabulous comes along.

I think you should make a list: pros/cons, dealbreaker list, etc. Put the biggest stuff way at the top and go from there. I wish you all the luck. It is not an easy choice, but your little girl will adjust if you decide to move.

This is a very hard question on many levels. I have four kids and just moved from the DC area. 20% might not be enough for the cost of living increase. DC is a very expensive area so look into that really well. Areas that are more affordable also tend to be more dangerous and have worse public schools. If you haven't already why not look for something closer to your parents? Even 4-5 hours is nothing compared to the other side of the country. That said, if this is something that you think you will be much happier doing I am sure you will find friends in DC and your daughter is at a very resilient age. She will be fine. It is you who will have a hard time. I loved the DC area and miss it very much. Just don't underestimate the value of being close to your parents. Good Luck. Think really hard about what you really desire in the long term.