We have a 2 year old daughter and wondering if a joint 50/50, week on/week off situation will work well?

We were awarded joint custody a year ago when Mom wasnt working and I was. That resulted in Mom getting 4 1/2 days to my 2 1/2. The wording in the parental agreement stated Mom would "consider" more time with me upon gaining employment. Now she's working but doesn't want to give up more time. The judge ordered mediation and we go tomorrow.

I'm trying to find out the pros/cons of having a 50/50 split at this time for our daughter. I'd like to be involved as much as possible, especially once she begins school.

I think that would be very hard on the child. She wiil be just starting to get use to whatever home she at one week, then have to start over again the next. Children find comfort in routine, if it is continually broken it can be very stressful for the child. May I suggest that you take her for 1/2 days throughout the week. Pick out the days that will work for your schedules and stick with it. Even though it will be a hectic schedule, your child will find comfort knowing that certain days it's mommy time and others are daddy time. As for sleeping arrangements, I would make sure it was 4 nights with one and 3 with the other, not every other night. Hope this helped, good luck!

Kids thrive on routine and schedules, so doing a week on a week off might not be the best choice yet.

Hi! I am a stepmother in a 50/50 joint custody situation. Here are the pros and cons that i can think of off the bat:

pros:
Child is very close to both parents, feels secure in that love, is part of both families.

No parent is asked to essentially disappear from their child's life. No solution is perfect but at least with this one, ther eis no sad every other weekend/one evening a week crumb.

cons: depending upon how different your parenting styles and values are, child may have to lead 2 lives in a manner of speaking-2 houses-2 different sets of rules and expectations.

Too may chiefs, not enough indians (meaning, both parents need to be involved in EVERY decision, no matter how minor both want thier say)

Without meaning too, each parent might be campaigning for the title of most favored home-in which case child is rarely punished and rules are lax because you don't want the child to ever desire beign at the other home.

My boyfriend and his ex do the week-to-week thing with their son and it works fine for us. He's 3 now and he is starting to know which days he comes to our house and when he goes to mommy's house.

I've had two different friends who've tried this arrangement, and while it sounds good and fair, it's rough on the children. They end up living two different lives. Kids need to have routine, and they derive security from it. You'll be interrupting her sleep schedule, eating habits, and play schedule.

Think about it like this, how would you feel if you had to live your life in your current house this week, but in another one next week? As much as I know it hurts, your current arrangement sounds better for the child. You have to do what's best for her, not for your heart. Love her enough to give her stability. You can still be involved in her life to a great degree.

It doesn't have to be exactly 50/50. If it's close to it, say 40/60 or 45/60 I'd be fine with that. During the time where both of you are working, the child spends her time at the daycare or preschool care. In almost all of the cases, child support one parent pays to the other depends on:
a. income of the parents
b. time spent with the child.

Factor (b) is the topic fought between parents, now.

My ex and I have had that schedule with our daughter for over a year now. Luckily it will end next month and he will only get her every other weekend so that it doesnt interfere with her school, she will start kindergarden.
If I could go back I would never again choose that week on week off crap, it has been very hard. With them that young they get used to one thing so quick then you move them and it gets confusing for them, an example is I have different rules at my house than at her dads and here she has a brother who also has to follow our rules. She would go over to her dads for his week and get away with alot more than is allowed here then when she would come here it would take the whole week to get her minding again just for her to go back and all my efforts be wasted. It is confusing for the young child and hard on the parents also, I would not recommend it.

Joint physical custody with a 50/50 arrangement can work but it is tricky and gets harder as the kids get older. Ideally, you should live close to each other. The child needs to have clothes and toys at both homes. As she starts to make friends outside of school she needs to be able to pursue these friendships no matter which parent she is with-the same with activities such as scouts, dance, clubs. You need to make sure that the school sends all communications from report cards to PTA notices and conference appointments to both of you. This will only work if you and your ex can put aside your differences and act like adults. You both need to be flexible. And listen to the child. She is entitled to at least an opinion. Understand that if she gets sick while with you she may want and need her mommy and the reverse may also be true. For right now remember that 2 is still very young and kids that age have a hard time adjusting to change, so go slowly.